I was trying to edit my Canon Photomarathon photos, when I decide to take a look at other people’s (or rather, my peers and rivals’) photos, and that’s when my brain and heart decides to throw in the towel for the night.
This is not an inane post: I am truly fustrated of how poorly skilled I was compared to the rest of the competitors competing in the competition (sorry for the double words). All of my pictures don’t invoke a sense of familiarity and empathy which I can relate to. There are a few gems here and there, but looking at the overall picture, I just… am at a loss as to my loss of inspiration.
A somewhat moe-fied mental image of my inner tantrums. (Source: {link:http://www.pixiv.net/index.php?id=12756}田中松太郎{/link})
The competition has thrown my judgment of my photography skills very drastically. It has indeed opened up my eyes to the opportunities of photography – with street photography being the most versatile form of photography there is – but there is a creative block within me that I just couldn’t shake off.
I don’t know how to describe this mental block that I have. Whenever I reminisce back my conversations with many of my photographer peers, or look through blog archives of others who have done better, I felt that I’m slowly being left behind. I don’t know if all the years of self-affirming had let me into this (I had constantly reminding myself that I am a slow learner, that it’s normal to be a slow learner – which frustrates my intellect more), or it’s just me being who I am, and that my limit has already been drawn. It’s just frustrating to not know how far have I pushed myself now.
I’m not being myself at the moment. This weekend there is a wedding going on over at my maternal relatives’ side, and they have been hinting on me to take some pictures of them. I don’t know if I have the necessary resources and creativity to take good shots.
Tags: frustrations, Photography
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Here, here… There’s no need to beat yourself up about this. It’s just the normal cycle of a photographers life. This is the point where people either throw in the towel or continue with the school of hard knocks. Creativity is something that is nurtured and different people pick up on it sooner or later if trained/studied enough. Being schooled in a rigid S’porean curriculum has somewhat buried that inquisitiveness. It’s time to break out.
You’ve searched my archives and seen my horribly taken works. I don’t shoot keepers at every outing. Being self-critical works, but one needs to learn their mistakes and question how they would improve on it the second time around. Experiment with multiple angles of the same subject or study photos by others that you like. Take time off from the camera if you need to. Instead, use your eyes and survey your environment, framing shots in your mind.
Competitions are a good way to put yourself in a spot and practice your creativity. Myself considered, I’m not particularly fond of same-day competition, but I’ll probably send some submissions in if I already have the pics available. For me, photography is something to be enjoyed at one’s own pace, with their previous pics as the barometer to surpass. If one doesn’t enjoy his hobby, why burden themselves?
That said, I NEVER do wedding/event shots. I don’t like rushing around to capture candids and opportune moments. At most, stick to the typical group shots and what-not. Case-in-point, I was tasked to capture my bro’s engagement recently despite my objections. Pics turned out so-so with some blocked/overexposed shots. When mom complained, I just said “Told you so”. I’ve since washed my hands clean of being a photographer for the wedding day.
Long story short, there’s only so much good equipment can do for you. I’ve sold all my AF lenses except for my trusty Sigma 10-20. (which I hyperfocus in MF anyway) My cheap MF lenses makes me slow down and helps me scan the frame during focusing. Sure, I miss lots of shots, but the ones that don’t, I make them count.
Sorry for the long rant. Just trying to help out a fellow photographer out of a rut.